i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize