I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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