I only kidnapped one of them. chill
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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