Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
