My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Fuck appropriateness.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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