People with herpes should wear stickers.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
