If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
