I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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