I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
