you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We need to feng shui this bitch.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
