google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
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Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
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now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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