White coat. Heels.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
