if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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