so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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