Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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