He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
