i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
