I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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