youre lurking in front of me
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
