I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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