I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
