Nicole vs. Life
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
