But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
