Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
