I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
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I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
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Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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