just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
