i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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