wrigley field is MILF paradise
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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