I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
