I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
