So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
