Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
