Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
