he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
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If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
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I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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