Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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