ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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