You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
