yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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