come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
