white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
