garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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