found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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