booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
