We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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