But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
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She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
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It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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