I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
