Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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