I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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