I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
