I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
