end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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