whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat