tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
