remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
