i think i have two assholes
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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