He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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