Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
