Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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