I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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