I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
