I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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