Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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