College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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