Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize