3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
