Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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